I rechecked my GPS just to make sure I had it right. I didn't want to be lost down here. I parked my car on the street and double checked my locks before stepping onto the sidewalk. I walked along, aware of how quiet it was. There were no children playing, no people talking, no cars driving by. The quiet was so loud in my head that I started whistling to block it out. I put my hands in my pockets and felt some loose change from the coffee shop this morning. I shook the coins, liking the clang they made alongside my whistling. I felt bold, superior.
Don't be such a snob.
My cheeks flushed. I had never felt superior to anyone before. I wasn't one of them, the out of touch elite. I was an everybody kind of guy. I supported causes and voted the right way. I rallied against social injustice and discussed foreign policy with my friends. Yet here I was, hating the drabness of this place. Hating that it was part of my city. I sighed heavily and stopped whistling. I stopped looking for the right address and instead looked around me. There were some people out after all. I noticed the shop keeper across the street, standing at his door cleaning the glass with a rag. He looked at me and smiled. Had he been there a second ago? Just ahead of me was a bus stop. There were three women waiting. One of them had a baby in her arms. They all laughed at the same time. The oldest one saw me out of the corner of her eye and smiled. I smiled back. I walked on. Up ahead there was a homeless man, sitting on a bench. His possessions were piled up next to him; a large black trash bag with a blanket peeking over the top, an almost empty water bottle, a ball cap and a scruffy dog. I noticed he had a little bowl of water for his dog. This struck me. A man who could barely care for himself, yet here he was caring for this little dog. I felt for the change in my pocket and pulled it out. Less than a dollar. I looked from my hand and back to the man. His eyes were a light blue. His hair gray and cut close. He had a small beard that was surprisingly well kept. He smiled at me.
"Hello there!" he said, with a grin.
"Um, hi," I said, feeling self-concise. "I'm sorry I don't have much change, just this here." I handed him what I had. It was nothing. An insult.
The man tilted his head, looking at me with interest. His dog barked.
"Why, thank you, James. Every bit helps."
I felt relieved that I hadn't offended him, "You're welcome."
I turned and started walking back to my car, forgetting why I had come down here in the first place. Forgetting that I still had something to do, forgetting that I had not told the homeless man my name.